


Behold, Gotham! Kim Taehyung, the greatest Shadowhunter of all time!

by ShootiNgSt4r



Series: Boyz with Fun (Shadowhunter BTS) [2]
Category: EXO (Band), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Kim Seokjin | Jin & Kim Taehyung | V Are Siblings, Kim Taehyung | V & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Little Shit, Mentions of Marvel Superheroes, Parabatai Bond, Vmin are parabatai, Werewolves, a tiny bit of cussing, especially batman, implied kaisoo, platonic vmin, shadowhunters au, slight crack, werewolf!exo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-04 15:18:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11557917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShootiNgSt4r/pseuds/ShootiNgSt4r
Summary: ' Jimin rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, he totally overreacted to you getting drunk off your ass and trying to jump off the roof wearing a freaking batman cape and yelling 'Behold, Gotham! Kim Taehyung, the greatest Shadowhunter of all time!'. Honestly Tae, if Jongin hyung and Kyungsoo hyung hadn't been there to help me you'd have been a Taehyung-shaped pancake on the sidewalk by now. I really don't know why I let you drag me into your crazy schemes." ' - Smells Like Teen Spirit, Chapter One.A really short vmin one-shot, set before the start of Smells Like Teen Spirit.





	Behold, Gotham! Kim Taehyung, the greatest Shadowhunter of all time!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So, I've got several fun ideas that I can't really fit into the main fic, so I'll be posting more of these short one-shots as I write them.  
> This one is a short, funny vmin story, and I've got some ideas about Jungkook's time at the Shadowhunter Academy (with Yugyeom!), some more vmin episodes, some stories about Namjoon the warlock's past, and much much more!!  
> I haven't actually written any of these yet, but I'm just bursting with ideas, so subscribe to the series, and keep your eyes peeled!  
> Enjoy~ ^^

Jimin just _knew_ it was a bad idea when Taehyung came to his room in the middle of the night, wearing a shit-eating grin and waving four bottles of Soju at him. But who was he to ever listen to his inner voice and reject his Parabatai - it was impossible for him to say no to those wide doe eyes and pleading pout. And so, 3 o'clock in the morning found the two teenagers drunk out of their minds, giggling like little schoolgirls and wearing mind boggling combinations of random costumes. Taehyung wore a tight black jumpsuit under his favourite batman cape and sported cat ears, wobbly face painted whiskers and a Captain America shield. Jimin was dressed in a Spiderman suit, brandished a Star Wars lightsaber and had a cowboy hat perched haphazardly on top of his ruffled hair.

"Take- hic! Take that!" Jimin giggled, prodding his best friend with his plastic Star Wars Lightsaber. Taehyung gasped in mock anger, brandishing his shield in Jimin's general direction.

"How dare you!" he screeched, teetering on his feet. "You- hic, you stupid spider!" He pointed accusingly at Jimin, glaring at the giggly teen. "I dare you to do that again!"

And of course, that only led to Jimin taking him up on his dare, waving his lightsaber around and Taehyung screaming bloody murder, trying to block the blows with his shield.

"I feel so- so hot," panted Jimin, collapsing on the floor after their mock fight. Taehyung groaned in agreement, tugging at the neckline of his batman cape.

"C'mon," he gasped, staggering up and dragging the smaller boy with him. "S'go out." The two crashed out of the room, giggling wildly and shushing each other loudly. It was a miracle they didn't run into anybody, since they weren't being all that discreet.

Taehyung let go of his parabatai as soon as they were outside, spreading his arms wide and lifting his face up to the dark sky, drawing in a huge breath. "Mmmm," he moaned appreciatively. Jimin rolled his eyes, heading for the city center.

"Wait up!" Taehyung squeaked, staggering behind Jimin and draping his arms around his shoulders.

"C'mon TaeTae," Jimin complained when his friend slumped over him, clinging to him like a little koala.

"Nuh uh," the taller boy protested cutely, pouting. Jimin sighed, staggering on as best as he could with Taehyung hanging off his shoulders.

"Whee!" Taehyung squealed, letting go of Jimin and rushing off to climb on top of the low cement wall and walk along it, occasionally losing his balance and making airplane noises while spreading his arms wide. He kept his balance surprisingly well for a drunk person, perhaps thanks to all the shadowhunter training he'd had since he was young.

Just as they were nearing the han river, a voice suddenly called out to the two troublemakers.

"Jimin?" the voice asked, drawing nearer.

"Hyung!!" Jimin giggled, turning to the newcomer with a huge smile. It was a pair of werewolves - one small and delicate-looking, with huge eyes and a pretty heart-shaped mouth, the other taller and more mysterious looking, with deep set eyes and a sexy, brooding look.

"Hey," the smaller one greeted him, narrowing his eyes at them in suspicion. "Have you been drinking?"

"Yep!!" the younger Shadowhunter chirped brightly, almost skipping around with excitement. "TaeTae and I are superheroes!"

"Taehyung?" asked the taller werewolf, raising an expressive eyebrow. "Is he with you?"

"What do you mean?" Jimin laughed nervously. "He's right-" he stopped short, falling silent in horror as he took in the empty, Taehyung-less sidewalk.

"Jimin..." the small werewolf started in a warning tone.

"He was right there! I swear!" Jimin squeaked, wringing his hands worriedly and staring wildly around him.

"Kyungsoo..." the tall boy murmured, frowning in worry for the missing shadowhunter. Kyungsoo sighed and rolled his eyes. "Come on," he said, resigned to his fate. "Let's look for him. He can't have gone too far, especially if he was drunk."

The three spread out, searching high and low for the missing troublemaker.

"Taehyung~ TaeTae! Where are you?" Jimin called anxiously, almost entirely sober by now.

"It's no use," Kyungsoo said finally after ten minutes of searching. "We'll have to split up." He frowned, deep in thought. He was also starting to get worried. He knew Taehyung could defend himself just fine should he run into any trouble, but he also knew the missing shadowhunter wasn't exactly the most attentive of people, being easily distracted and getting excited about the most random things. The fact that he was drunk made things even worse. "Nini," he addressed his companion, "you go and see if he's wandered anywhere near the park - you know how he is, look for any faeries or animals he might have followed. Jimin, go retrace the road you took-"

He broke off suddenly, blinking his large eyes in surprise as something utterly unexpected caught his eyes.

"Uh," he said eloquently, slowly raising his finger to point up at the roof of a large building across the street. "I think I found him."

The others whirled around, following his pointing finger up to the lone figure standing on the roof. It was unmistakably Taehyung, his cape flapping impressively around him as he stood on the very edge of the roof, his arms spread wide and his head thrown back.

"Tae!" Jimin gasped, clapping his hands over his mouth. Without another word, he sprinted to the doors of the building Taehyung was on, yanking them open impatiently and rushing in. The two worried werewolves followed suit, chasing the lithe Shadowhunter up the many flights of stairs. They were horribly out of breath and doubled up panting by the time they reached the door to the rooftop, and Jimin groaned, grasping his aching side for a second before reaching out to pull the door open.

"Taehyung," Kyungsoo called at once, voice sharp with trepidation as he took in the young boy's position at the very edge of the roof. "Step away from there, it's dangerous."

The boy in question turned around at the sound of Kyungsoo's voice. Both Jimin and Jongin gasped when they saw him spinning around so quickly.

"Tae-" Jimin squeaked, hands reaching out for thin air in front of him as if he could physically grab the boy and drag him back to safety.

"Guys!" Taehyung boomed delightedly, blissfully unaware of the terror the other three were feeling because of him. "Look! I'm Batman!"

"Taehyung-" Kyungsoo groaned, slapping a hand over his eyes. "You are aware that you can't _really_ fly, aren't you?"

"I sure as fuck hope so," Jongin muttered under his breath beside him.

"Of course I can't fly!" Taehyung pouted, as if the idea was offending to him. "I don't fly, I _glide_. My cape helps me to glide, see? It's so cool!" He spread the cape wide, showing off the black fabric.

"By the Angel," Jimin sighed in exasperation. Slowly, he started inching towards his Parabatai, as cautious as if he had been approaching a rabid dog.

"Taehyung," he crooned softly, voice low and crooning lightly. "Come on TaeTae, step away from the edge."

Taehyung smiled brightly, shaking his head energetically like a toddler dead set on doing something he knew was going to get him in trouble later.

"Nuh-uh," he giggled, stepping even closer to the edge. Jimin sucked in a breath at seeing the other's heels actually hanging off the edge - he was now half on, half off the ledge lining the roof's edges, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet. Only his shadowhunter training and blood kept him from falling off. He was perfectly balanced, as relaxed as if he had been on the training beam back at the Institute and not on a ledge 30 feet high up in the air.

Kyungsoo exchanged a quick look with Jongin, and by a mutual agreement, they silently slipped around Jimin, heading for Taehyung in a roundabout, sneaky way while Jimin, noticing their movements, started talking, trying to keep his friend's attention on him.

"So," he started, relaxing his body and forcing his tone into a light, conversational one. "So you're Batman, huh?"

"Yep," Taehyung hummed, flapping his cape happily.

"Wow," Jimin continued, sneakily moving forward as the two werewolves silently slipped closer and closer to the oblivious shadowhunter. "That's really cool. Where'd you park your Batmobile?"

Taehyung frowned, chewing his lower lip as he thought. "I don't know," he pouted. "I think I left it back at the Institute."

Jimin stifled a chuckle. "Really?" he asked, false sympathy dripping from his voice. Jongin and Kyungsoo were almost within grabbing distance to Taehyung, now, and he relaxed a tiny bit in relief. Soon his stupid reckless drunk Parabatai would be safe.

"Yeah," Taehyung said sadly. "I think I'll go get it!" he suddenly chirped, face brightening in an instant. "See you later, ChimChim!"

He spun around suddenly, spreading his cape smugly. "Behold, Gotham!" he bellowed at the top of his lungs, "Kim Taehyung, the greatest shadowhunter of all time!" And with that, he bent his knees to jump off.

Alarmed, all three boys lunged at him, Jimin shrieking in horror. Kyungsoo grabbed his right arm, Jongin his left, and Jimin tackled the boy's middle, wrapping his arms tightly around him and bodily yanking him backwards. All four boys toppled over, losing their balance, and they ended up in a groaning pile of sore limbs on the gravelly floor of the roof, Jimin squashed under his best friend and Kyungsoo and Jongin helplessly tangled up in Taehyung's cape.

"Uhhhhh," groaned Kyungsoo, sitting up gingerly and spitting out a mouthful of gravel. "You stupid piece of shit!" he growled at Taehyung, letting his fangs and claws elongate a little. "I feel like I've aged 10 years in 5 minutes, thanks to you." He made a scary sight, his growling grimace coupled with his terrifying death glare making even the drunk, happy-go-lucky boy cower.

Jongin merely sat up and shook his head, tiny pebbles and gravel flying out of his curly hair. Jimin groaned again, shoving the heavy Shadowhunter off his legs. Taehyung himself was now wailing loudly, upset at the lost opportunity to show off his gliding skills.

"Meanie!" He shouted, throwing a little tantrum. "Lemme go! I wanna glide!!!"

Jimin glowered at his Parabatai, then gave him a sudden hard knock to the head. "Yah!" he yelled loudly. "Kim Taehyung!" He scowled at the pouting Shadowhunter who was nursing his sore forehead. "If you ever do that again, I'm telling Seokjin hyung about everything you don't want him to know about," he threatened. Taehyung's eyes widened and he stuck out his lower lip, clearly crestfallen.

"Now you're going to get up, dust yourself off, and walk right back to the Institute with me, is that clear?" he continued, voice unusually sharp and commanding. Sadly, Taehyung nodded, looking like a kicked puppy. Jongin melted a little at the adorable sight, but Kyungsoo remained stoically frowning, the hint of a tiny smile lurking at the corner of his mouth the only sign of his affection for the reckless teenager.

Huffing, Jimin stood up, groaning at his bruised limbs, and helped his taller Parabatai up. "Come on," he said, voice softening fondly, dusting off his best friend and taking his hand. "Thanks, hyungs," he added to the two werewolves, who smiled and nodded. "Keep this a secret from Joonmyun hyung, will you?" he pleaded, worried that the fussy, motherly werewolf leader might tell Seokjin about this night.

"Oh, all right," Kyungsoo sighed, ruffling Jimin's hair. "Go on now, and don't ever drink again, you hear me?" He glowered at them and both boys nodded, suitably cowed. "Good," he puffed. "Go on, get him into bed," he told Jimin, who nodded and tugged on Taehyung's hand, leading him off the roof. The two werewolves could hear him scolding his miserable Parabatai in a childish, reproachful voice all the way down the stairs.

Jongin looked at Kyungsoo, who ran a hand through his now messy hair, abruptly exhausted.

"Come on," he sighed, taking the taller boy's hand. Jongin smiled, pleased, eyes crinkling down at the older werewolf in a fond smile in response. "Let's go home."


End file.
